cold gold.

i had quite the shock of my life today as i stepped on the scales again after nearly a half of the year - this is not my weight, isn' it ?! but it was and i could have hit myself so hard for having aten so much chocolate in the past few weeks without doing any sports, so i decided - actually the first time in my life - to go jogging. i never brought myself to do that before but as i went out, listening to breathe carolina, i really felt good. it was a cold and little bit foggy day but the sun was shining in an awesome golden light and while running i just thought about nothing, i just breathed in and out, in and out and somehow i had to smile. that feeling however lasted only about 15min. after that i didn't feel my legs anymore and breathing wasn't that easy anymore too. and i was so relieved that i made it home after finally 40min of - in the end - pain. now, after having taken a shower i'm just lying in my bed and hoping that i will be able to walk tomorrow.. but i will do it again, i really have to lose some weight before bikini-season starts again, and in spite of everything i feel a little satisfied and better right now because i know i've done something reasonable today.