the future.

where is my inspiration ? boredom ; missing time ; tiredness ; pressure . . where is my life ? i'm really looking forward the weekend ; holidays and christmas, time for me to do what i want ; to take some photos ; to draw ; to go snowboarding . . at the moment my life is only learning and writing tests ; trying to plan my future with searching for a fitting course of studies and some internships to test if a particular job is the job of my dreams or not. i tried architecture, it was nice but i couldn't work as an architect . . there are so many rules in germany how to build and how a house should look like so my creativity is so constricted and i couldn't let my ideas fly free, for that i had to go to japan ^-^ NO. architecture isn't the right course of studies. i'm rather thinking of interior design ; photo design or media design. i can't decide so i really have to try all those jobs, i found some agencies but they haven't replied to my requests yet. this waiting makes me kind of sick >.< there are some universities in munich for those courses of studies, they are really unbelievably awesome, some have integrated semesters abroad, but they are all private. so they are about $700-900 a month. how could a normal person pay this ? i hate it. i really have to try to get a scholarship or sth like that . . otherwise my dreams will burst like a soap bubble.